My Holy Communion was in Poland, in 1976. Traditionally, the girls were wearing white, but unlike today, the whole ceremony was a fashion show. Not only because the town was looking, but all the family members were invited and all the parents were anxious to show off their wealth and event organising skills.
I don’t really know how wealthy we were back then. I do remember though that I gagged to have a long dress (almost all girls did and it was sort of compulsory matter between the girls). On the day, I was presented with a velour dress, above the knee, with pink trimmings. While all my family adored the garment, I was disgusted and ever so sad. I cried and cried. I saw the dress many times after that day, even a few years after, when I grew up, but the more I looked at it, the more I hated it. Ugly, ugly thing. I don’t remember much from the ceremony. After a trip to church, it became more an adult party. Despite it to suppose to be my day, it was just one more opportunity to drink and get drunk.
Sometimes I go back to that time and wonder. My parents were not church goers. We didn’t talk about God at home and generally everything what was going on inside our home was very far from exemplary Christian family. Yet every year we (my brother and I) were forced by our parents to celebrate Easter, Christmas and other Christian Holidays “by the (holy) book”. We were even told to fast before Christmas, and we were inviting a priest before that (Priest was always visiting some time before, to supply the holy bread to households. The real reason though was to get a “donation” of no less then…), and run to the Church on Saturday before Easter to bless food traditionally prepared in decorated wicker basket (see below). It was all just display though.
So, my parents were Catholics whenever it suited them. All other times it was a pathological family with higher education. Sad but true. Nobody bothered though, because it was all normal back then. Everything was happening behind the closed doors. No complaints, no interference from the outside world… just gossip between the neighbours, when last night wasn’t the quiet one.
We were all “forced” into Christianity, in a way. Baptism was not optional. Kids were baptised before they were a year old and being a Catholic could not be discussed. That doesn’t mean that there were no other religions around. It was just a silent issue, rarely discussed in the community.
So similarly, I had nothing really to say about what to wear, do etc. during my communion. It was again one more occasion for adults to get wasted. Traditions were very good pretext for gatherings and drinking.
A few years later, there came a time for another holy occasion – Confirmation. I was old enough to refuse though and so I did. Scare tactics, such as “you won’t be able to have a wedding in the church” and of similar meaning didn’t bother me at all. I was confused enough not get deeper into the subject and ignore it. Domestic issues were far more important and dangerous than church wedding at the time, and that was something that I had to deal with on daily basis. Soon I stopped thinking about religion, full stop; And it pretty much stayed the same till today. Nowadays, my religious thoughts are limited to scientific considerations, but that is covered in another Blog of mine: FACTS-OPINIONS-HYPOTHESES .
Anyway, that was the first of many (major) things that were not what they supposed to be.
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