Here I am, dealing with the beauty of being menopausal. Daily mood swings and driving my family insane became a norm. I am truly trying to deal with it, but it seems to be far more difficult than fighting heavy depression all those years ago. probably because I am not as strong as before. Physically, or mentally. I managed to get through to my doctor and hopeful we can sort out some hormonal therapy.
It took me quite a while to sit here and share another thought with you. Lately, I am finding it tricky to force myself to work with anything. I have many ideas for my art, just can’t get to it. Also, I found myself dealing with unexpected family issues that occupied me immensely, and which are still on top of my agenda.
I was always thinking how it is going to be when I hit the “half way” mark. My Granny had huge problems while going through menopause. She was suicidal and withdrawn most of the time. I was a bit worried that it might happen to me as well. I can handle myself quite well, considering, and I truly believe that “training” helped me a lot. I can’t stress enough, how important is to get help and support immediately, as soon as you spot the oncoming changes. Don’t foul yourself that you are going to be ok, it is going to get worse, whether you like it or not. Symptoms will be there and it is utterly up to you to manage them. There is no shame in getting old. Hiding the fact that you reached this level is not going to do you any favours.
So, here you are, dealing with all this, new dramas, mood swings and getting pissed off at everything. Heat waves coming and going drive you mad. You are losing your grip… Do you give up? HELL NO!!! – YOU DEAL WITH IT! The first step is acknowledgement that it is happening and it is you, who is at the centre of it. Yes, you are going FULLY BLOWN GERIATRIC, but it is not a sign of weakness. Let’s see what geriatric status brings to us:
G-rumpy
E-ccentric
R-ambling
I-rritating
A-nnoying
T-etchy (easily irritated or annoyed)
R-ude
I-mpatient
C-razy
Well, at least that’s what most people think on sound on this word. With old age though comes WISDOM. And it compensates for all the bad traits listed above:
W-itty
I-mpressive
S-agacious (acutely insightful and wise)
D-ivine (being of such surpassing excellence as to suggest inspiration by the gods)
O-mniscient (infinitely wise)
M-arvelous
The second group is totally me. I discovered a total “wacko” inside myself and decided to reinvent my ego. I’m done being politically correct, dressing, behaving, and thinking in accordance to my age. Instead, I am going to do what I could never do – I’m going to be myself and show the world my middle finger. Do not mistake the meaning of “world” here, which points to “inhumane humans”. I am all for healthy and prospering Planet Earth, and humanity as it supposed to be – concerned and living in symbiosis with nature.
But again, that’s just me. I was lucky to get this far and meet a few people who helped me along the way. Not everyone is so lucky though. Ideally, if a person doesn’t have to look for helpful hand from the start. Such a hand should be there, at home, at school, everywhere you are. Unfortunately, today’s world makes this less and less possible. Sometimes through neglect, but mostly because of messed up systems that are used to control the nations. However, we are not here to stir the politics. We are here to learn how to float in the sea of politics. Whether you like it or not, rich boys on top are currently playing Poseidon and our job is to build raft strong enough to keep up with the waves that they creating.
So, going back to the subject, being old makes you reflect at your past. In my case, it is a painful journey. More sad moments than joy, but I had to fish for those good points, and I discovered that, although in minority, they were there. Just to mention a few: time spent with my grandparents, those few friends (for some just one) who made my life bearable, birth of my children, times with my animals… You might not have the same experiences as me, but try to reach those that made you happy, even just for a day. List them and pin on your wall. Think how many more points you can make happen, with the knowledge you have today.
But what about those, who are still very young and lost? Well, if you are a parent – find a way to talk to your child. If you are grandparent, welcome to the club and talk to all of them – kids and grandkids. And I mean TALK, don’t INTERROGATE. The power of CIVIL CONVERSATION is unbelievable. Once you manage to start an initial conversation, become a listener. Most people don’t talk, because they think that nobody wants to listen to them. They think that whatever they have to say is not important, because they consider themselves unimportant. Sometimes silence is a sign of something being wrong. Find out, rich out, pass a helping hand. The first step is a way to the bright future.
As to YOU – the one who is being lost in tis world – search for a helpful hand. Try within family and friends first. Try to initiate a conversation. If you are unsuccessful within your circle, it doesn’t mean that the whole world gave up on you. There are people who get it, there are people who have been there and know how it is to be rejected. Together, you will be able to move through and discover your better self – I can promise you that. Below are just a few links to have a look at in the meantime. It doesn’t hurt to try. You can’t get worse than you are, if you are looking for help. From now on, it can only get better. Keep safe guys and I’ll try to pop on here as soo as I can.
Oh, almost forgot – I am now setting up a new website. It is not fully ready yet. I am doing it on my own and trust me – experimenting with web design is a nightmare. I am determined though, as I truly cannot afford to employ a geek to deal with it, so I beg your forgiveness, if some buttons don’t work yet, or take you to strange places. I am confident though that once I got a hang of it – it will be amazing and… INTERACTIVE! , so I hope to see you all there in the nearest future. The link to my website is below.
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